Running a small business is one of the most incredible experiences of my life — and one of the hardest. Not because of the long hours or the creative demands or even the financial pressure. Those are real, of course. But the hardest part, by far, is the voice in my head that whispers:
“You’re failing.”
“You’re not doing enough.”
“Everyone else is handling this better than you.”
And here’s the truth I’m finally learning:
That voice is almost never telling the truth.
It’s telling the story of my trauma, not my reality.
The Day Everything Felt Like It Was Falling Apart
Just recently, I discovered that several orders from late November had been lost in transit — packages that should have arrived safely on customers’ doorsteps weeks ago.
My stomach dropped.
Before I even had time to breathe, the familiar spiral began:
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“How could I let this happen?”
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“I’m so unprofessional.”
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“Why can’t I run my business perfectly?”
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“I’m messing everything up.”
Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever run a business — or honestly, just tried to be a human — you probably know that spiral well.
But here’s what actually happened next:
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I proactively reached out to customers before they even had to ask
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I flagged the orders as lost and requested immediate reprints
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I contacted my print partner and escalated the issue
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I personally offered discount codes as an apology
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I handled it with care, clarity, and genuine integrity
That’s not failure.
That’s good business.
That’s a person who shows up.
But my brain didn’t register that at first — because sometimes, especially when you live with anxiety, ADHD, C-PTSD, or chronic self-doubt, your feelings don’t match the facts.
Why Small Problems Can Feel Like Big Failures
This is something I want every sensitive, overwhelmed, healing, ambitious person to understand:
Feeling like a failure doesn’t mean you are one.
Our brains are shaped by:
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childhood criticism
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perfectionism
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people-pleasing
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trauma
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exhaustion
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stress
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hormonal changes
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health challenges
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the pressure to “do it all”
When something goes wrong — even something completely normal like a shipping delay — our nervous systems often react like we’re in danger.
But we’re not.
We’re just human.
And being human means things won’t go perfectly all the time.
The Truth I’m Learning (Slowly, Gently):
You can make mistakes and still be worthy.
You can feel overwhelmed and still be capable.
You can struggle and still succeed.
You can doubt yourself and still be growing.
Owning a business while healing from trauma is a special kind of courage.
Showing up day after day when your mind tells you you’re failing?
That’s strength — not weakness.
And if no one has told you this recently:
You don’t have to be perfect to be proud of yourself.
What I Want You To Remember — Whether You’re a Customer, Creator, or Just a Human Trying Your Best
Life gets messy. Packages get lost. Plans fall apart. We get behind.
We try again. We care. We fix the things we can fix.
We breathe through the rest.
And sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply refuse to believe the lie that we’re failing when we’re actually doing our absolute best.
Because you are.
And I am.
And that counts.
Thank You for Supporting My Small, Healing, Growing Business
Every order you place, every email you open, every kind review you leave — it all genuinely means the world to me.
Self-Care Shirts isn’t just a brand.
It’s part of my healing.
It’s part of my self-love journey.
And it’s proof that even on the days we feel like failures…
we are building something beautiful.
💛
Alyssa
Founder, Self-Care Shirts
